You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
