I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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