I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
