And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
