Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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