it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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