3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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