Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
