"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
