We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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