do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
