I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
