i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
