Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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