Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
