hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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