C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
