I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
