Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
