After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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