I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
