everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize