But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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