is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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