You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She bit a glass in half.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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