If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
