After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
