i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
