I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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