were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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