do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
