TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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