How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
