After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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