I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I came so hard my ears popped.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
