just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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