i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
