I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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