Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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