I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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