and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
