wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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