Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
