The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
