There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
