I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
