well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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