8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
