We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
