Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
