Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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