If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
