She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
