I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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