i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
